August 10, 2010

NOTE: All my so called “wit” and “sarcasm” apart – I fully accept, admit and appreciate that each individual has his or her own story. Everyone wants freedom. And everyone wants an anchor.

You all have the right to be who you are and what you are – and everyone, in their own, weird, freaky, sometimes even conventional, and traditional, shy, reserved or totally out there way – I repeat – EVERYONE, simply ROCKS!!!


A lot; rather, all of the beings who possess a combination of ‘testosterone’ and, for the lack of a more decent yet obviously masculine word, ‘body hair’ –  would agree with me when I would want to contend the old saying, “A son is a son, till he gets himself a wife.”

So here I am, once again, attempting to debate it from the other side of the fence.

So we’re the ones who nag, and complain, and don’t quite know what we want. Wow. That must be frustrating for all you dudes out there to deal, not only on a daily or hourly, but minute-ly with this species who don’t know what they want. I apologise on behalf of my side of the fence – we, who possess ovaries and guts.

In my defence, I am SO not a feminist. I disagree with the whole funda of reserved seating for women in buses, government jobs, college admissions and the parliament.

I don’t think that men have tortured and subjugated women for generations. I don’t feel bad for women with potential who end up being housewives and daughters in law and mothers for a lifetime.

On the contrary, I think, being a feminist is stepping a little bit on being outright mean.

And although it has been proven by Dr Phil, Freud and the whole jing bang shrink gang that women tend to hold onto relationships tighter because they need security, I don’t quite see it. In a way, it ALL makes sense – when there’s the question of progeny.

What I am trying to find the answer to is the question, “Do men care as much as women about their first family???”

Before the veins in some of your big heads pop, I’d like to maintain that I am not here to make a decision on this. All I am trying to say is, “Girls, let’s give them a break!!!”

Fact: “Guys”, “dudes”, “men”, “bros”, “comrades”, “buds” – they all do eventually end up caring. Caring  for and about. Their. First. Family. I’ve seen it happen to many a “free agent”.

The biggest example is someone very close to me. I have seen this person have everyone (and I mean EVERYONE), wrapped around his finger.

He was the Godfather of his social circle. I have seen him walk the halls in school with a certain aura around him – his juniors glowing in the light of his orb. I’ve seen him playing in the street, ensuring justice is maintained (don’t confuse justice with peace).

The church authorities, the school teachers, the family elders think he’s a boy with a heart of gold.

His first family, however, knows his darkest secrets.

He probably thinks they are beneath the honour of having his company – they’re just not “his kind’a people”. That he does everything they ask of him and yet, they can’t stop gnawing at his brain cells. That one extra chore that’s asked of him results in a tantrum that turns their living room into an all day negative vibe breeding pad. Woo Hoo!!! Sulk Fest time!!!

Sarcasm aside, he’s a very dear acquaintance of mine. So please don’t get me wrong. I know he will be there for me when I need him.

But here’s the thing. How can a guy – who’s apparently snappy crappy to his current family, paint a picture of a happy scrappy future family to his girlfriend???!!!

Another mate of mine, in a DnM session, confessed that “of course” he cared about his current family – he regularly bought knick knack sort of gifts for them. In my put on earnestness but genuine concern, I tried to get through his thick head, the idea that it wasn’t the gifts they needed from him – that care could be expressed without materialistic gestures as well.

In return for my very wise counsel (that’s right! Modesty can take a hike!), he looked at me as if I had introduced him to an Asian speaking Afrikaan. Mind you, this look was coming from a guy who decided to propose to his girlfriend at an orchid farm – because orchids are her favourite flower. (Bloody cheapskate didn’t have to spend a penny on the evening he got engaged to her!!!)

My Dad has always been fond of travelling. In the earlier days of his career, my Nan suggested that he should look for a job that didn’t make him move so much. Being in his element of youthful arrogance, he replied that each new city was an adventure. As he tells his story, the only thing he wants since he married my Mom is to live in the same city as her.

I am not a Suraj Barjatiya or a melodrama fan, but here’s a thought:

Why must men push their first family away, only to be on leash of another – which they call their own??? Is being Alpha male so important to them that they consider staying away from their parents more “peaceful”???

And if it is about being alpha male; and having their “own” family; having “control” is what they want, I find it rather amusing that women are actually labelled as control freaks. And if men find security in having the power and the control, how can it be established that it is women who look for security?

So these “Masters of their own will” who have the world “wrapped around their finger”; themselves want to be wrapped around someone else’s finger. Some impressive alpha male, I daresay.

So for all you girls out there, here’s some food for thought. According to “intelligent design”, they break free from their people, for us. So please don’t hurt the Alpha male you “own” by saying, “A son is a son, till he gets himself a wife”!!!!!!!!!!!!



One comment

  1. I’ve never heard that saying.

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